-TWO-

I read somewhere that a writer is as good as their editor. I can't say whether or not that's true since I've never used my editor. I don't need him, you see. Yes, I am that good with a keyboard.

But what do they do? Editors, I mean. Really, what do they do? (we use your password and get on your computers when you're not looking-Ed.) The writers tell the stories, right?

There's a joke in the movie The Wonder Boys that the writer is the one who "sweats blood for five years" and the editor "corrects the spelling". If this is true, what's the point of an editor? Naturally I don't need one, but if we're to take this joke as gospel, I don't think you do, either.

I was a spelling bee kid in elementary school and went to the district spelling bee two years in a row (placing 2nd and then 1st the subsequent year-Ed.) and what has faded with time and age (let's not forget your atrocious diet and poor personal habits-Ed.), spellcheck can catch on the computer. Who is an editor but someone who feeds off the hard work of others like a leech? Who are these poor frustrated souls that can't tell stories themselves; forced to act out power fantasies while they mark up the manuscripts of writers who have spent the last six months to year of their lives not sleeping, ignoring significant others, and missing out on life in general to churn these puppies out? (We're a lot like the balding red-heads who think they're the next hot auteur because he has a blog! Boy, you've arrived now, fatty. Call the New Yorker, people!-Ed.)

I'm not going to just talk. I'll give an example, too.

Here's a piece we can use as an example:

Jessi was three years old and loved to swing. She swung at the park and she swung at preschool. Family and friends had noticed her preternatural ability in elevating her tiny body from the ground, bound only by the chains of the swing set) and would constantly joke that she'd get stuck up there if she wasn't careful. Even at her young age, she had an understanding of the exaggeration saturating most words coming out of the mouths of adults in her personal circle and disregarded these warnings with a knowing look or a laugh.

One day she got stuck. One minute, she had been swinging on her favorite yellow swing, found herself lulled into a familiar "not-quite-there" state of being that her unimaginative elders referred to as "spacing out", and was looking down on the playground the next. Only she wasn't looking down, she was looking up. It was quite complicated to explain but she was stuck with her feet touching the sky and she faced an entirely new sky. This one was far less attractive than the old sky with its vibrant blues and grays. This one was pavement with no color to it at all. Oh, there were patches of green here and there where she could spot the errant unmaintained yard, but that was it. The skyscrapers, part of the "big-city-downtown" she had been so excited to visit on a recent preschool zoo-trip now stabbed downwards toward her and she became convinced that they were trying to eat her. Her usual amazement for the sheer size of these metal and glass beasts was replaced with fear quite quickly. She didn't know what she was going to do.

Pretty good, right? (Yeah, if you consider mining your pre-school class for ideas to be writing-Ed.) Not much to mess with there. (No, just your self-esteem when you ask me what I think-Ed.)

I guess what I'm trying to say, folks, is that we need to trust our instincts (Yeah, I could've been saved from taking this job-Ed.). Don't be confined by antiquated ideas about how a story, script, or novel is put together and just write (unless "Survivor" is on...-Ed.).

Someday, you'll thank me (not bloody likely-Ed.)...

--**--

*****I've been watching:

-Superman: The Movie
-21 Grams
-50 First Dates
-Angels in America
-Dr. Strangelove
-A Fistful of Dollars
-Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrman version)
-X2: X-Men United
-Jekyll and Hyde: The Musical (Boise dwellers: check out this Stage Coach Theatre production)

*****I've been listening to:

-Membership drives on KBSU
-Brushfire Fairytales-----Jack Johnson

*****I've been reading:

-The Dark Tower 2 and 3 by Stephen King
-The 9/11 Commission Report
-A Sense of Direction by William Ball (highly recommended for fellow theater and film directors)