-EIGHT-

December 24th, St. George, UT:

Three out of five members of the Orgill-Taylor family are in the SUV knifing through the center of St. George in search of a Christmas tree and Caitlin (the only daughter) is looking for answers to religious questions.

Caitlin: Why don't Mormons go to church on Christmas?
Mom: It takes the focus off of Christ.
Caitlin: It's Christ's birthday, isn't it?

The conversation veers around some corners for a little bit but the gist of it is that Sunday meetings are the engine of this particular church and not even the holiday causing such stress for the family in the SUV will get in the way of packing the pews on the sabbath.

There are not many trees to be found in St. George and the family is content in accepting that they waited too long (procrastinating as usual; but with good reason when all family members are now in different cities and states.), but there are NO trees. No visible Christmas tree lots in Albertsons parking lots and trips to gardening departments at Home Depot and Lowes are fruitless.

It is at Lowes where the beleagured group finally overcomes their embarassment and asks an employee if there are Christmas tree lots anywhere in town and he reveals that there "aren't any this year." The family is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Not wanting to appear too much like the outsiders they are, they nod their heads and laugh along with the Lowes employee.

"Of course not."
"Christmas tree lots in St. George? Who needs 'em?"

But after the feigned amusement wears off, the three family members take a look around the town they're in. It's the desert. Visions of tanned and shorts-wearing Zions travellers chopping down trees in a nearby wilderness area are dancing in the family's car-lagged heads. Okay, maybe the family is defective and driven by careers to the point where yuletide icons like mistletoe are meaningless and maybe these Utah people are just more on top of their Christmas duties, but the episode is fraught with a sort of "Twilight Zone" freakishness.

With their heads down, the family returns to mother's home on a beautiful lot in St. George's sister city Leeds. The fifteen minute freeway trip north leads to more ideas and options, but morale is wavering.

"There will be no Christmas without a tree!"
"Christmas is ruined!"

Oh, the tears that are shed over this most malicious of fates!

"There is a fake tree in my garage," the mother says.
"A fake tree in the garage!" The children rejoice and sing their mother's praises.

A closer examination of the garage reveals a large quantity of rat droppings around the box where the plastic fir resides and fear of contamination by the Hanta virus ultimately trumps this once silver lining. The possibility of outdoor trees on the mother's property strung with lights is rejected for a lack of extension chords, and an eighteen inch novelty Christmas tree without a stand is placed in a blanket with all the care the shepherds must have had with the baby Jesus and propped on a newly upholstered chair in the living room.

Vegetable trays, pumpkin cookies, and champagne are devoured. The family returns to St. George, faith renewed, and takes pleasure in each others' company viewing a decent showing of Christmas lights. Even in a very religious community, there are those modern Christmas afficionados who need a little distraction in creating a nice Christmas.

Have a good one, folks!

-IT-

I haven't been watching or listening to or reading a lot 'cause I've been shopping, but there will be more in the New Year:).